Chapter 3 — Chapter Three

The most important part of any con job is research. It’s not glamorous or exciting, but it’s necessary. You have to know your victim – uh, client – inside out. You have to know who he is, where he comes from and what buttons to push to get what you want. This job came with a bonus, because in addition to doing my homework on Jasper, I also had to read up on Ayanda.
The day after my first session with Jasper, Vusi and I went to an internet cafe to do a little digging. It turned out that my beloved came from a prominent family. Her father, Gideon Zwane, was a multimillionaire. That’s right – multi. He made his fortune when he found a natural spring on his farm. Being a smart businessman, he saw the potential immediately and Amazi Spring Water was born. Not that I was interested in his money. It was Jasper’s money I was after.
Vusi whistled as he scrolled down the page. “Looks like lots of companies want to buy him out, but he’s not selling.”
“Uh huh.” I was scrolling through the company website, searching for Ayanda’s photo on the staff page. Ah, there it was, right under the title “Legal Division”. She was a lawyer! Beauty and brains. My heart jumped. Was it all in my head, or did she get more beautiful each time I saw her?
“Wife deceased. Only surviving heir is his daughter,” Vusi went on.
“Mmhmm,” I murmured. I was now going through Ayanda’s social media profiles. “She’s incredible,” I sighed. “Look at all the charity work she does! And she’s a brilliant lawyer, and she runs marathons.” I whistled, taking in her detailed CV. “She was on the debate team in varsity, involved in about a hundred extracurricular activities, always in leadership positions...”
“She sounds like a handful.”
“Hey, when you’re rolling with the top dogs you have to keep up,” I replied, annoyed by his tone. “You don’t understand how tough it is for a woman to make it in a man’s world.”
Vusi glanced at me. “What?”
I pointed at an essay she had written for a women’s magazine. “ ‘Raised by a single father who was always at the office, and living in a mostly-white area, I knew that only one thing would allow me to compete on an even playing field. I had to be the best.’ ” I shook my head. “She’s a superhero.” I opened up the Amazi Spring Water website again and copied the company’s contact details into my phone.
Vusi rolled his eyes and returned to his screen. “Hey, Amazi Spring Water is hosting a fundraising dinner event at the Galwegian Estates.”
I leaned over to see. “It’s on Saturday. Good. That gives us enough time to prepare.”
“Prepare for what? We’re not going to get Ayanda and Jasper back together, and she’s obviously too good for you.”
I gave him a dirty look. “You’re free on Saturday, right?”
“No, actually I was...” He paused as my implication sunk in. “What? No way. You can’t be serious, man. How the hell are we going to get into an event like this? Have you seen the price of the tickets? We could live on that money for a month!” He shook his head in his typical pessimistic fashion. “We don’t even have the right clothes.”
Vusi, Vusi, Vusi, always nit-picking. “Leave it to me. Have I ever let you down?”
He thought about it for a second longer than necessary. “Yes.”
“Ag, come on.” I slapped the back of his head and he winced. “Everything’s going to go according to plan.”
“Oh, now you have a plan?” he scoffed, following me out of the cafe.
“Yes. It’s brilliant.”
“Your plans are always brilliant, and yet they never work.”
“Seventy per cent success rate, Vus,” I reminded him. “Trust me, it’s going to work. But first we need to do more research.”
For the next hour we paid very close attention to Ayanda’s life. Well, I paid close attention and Vusi called me a psycho stalker. The point is we learned some important things about the love of my life.
The woman didn’t have a paranoid bone in her body. She was open and warm on social media, as if her thousands of followers were actually friends rather than random strangers who yearned to be touched by her angelic glow. She shared photos of herself at work, at the orphanage, out with friends. She was confident and hardworking.
She was also the sweetest person in the world. Her followers adored her. She posted cute uplifting messages and insightful articles. She spent her time trying to make the world better. Obviously we were meant for each other. With my big ideas and her big heart, we could change the world.
Ayanda clearly didn’t believe in solitude. She was always surrounded by people. Everywhere she went she was accompanied by colleagues or friends. I learned from her social media that her entourage was made up of three people: Precious, Thandeka and Mandla. One of them seemed be at her side at all times, usually Mandla. I got the impression, from the photos, that he was the gay best friend. Either that or he was really into pink.
Finally I logged out and stood up. “We need to do a little field work,” I told Vusi with a wink.
“What does that mean?” He followed me out of the cafe.
I looked up and down the street, then crossed over towards the taxi stop. Okay, so I didn’t exactly have a plan. I had the skeleton of a plan. Well, more like part of the skeleton of a plan, but it was better than nothing. After all, this time I had serious motivation – Ayanda. To have the chance to finally win her heart, I would have to devise the best plot of my career.
As we walked, I whipped out my phone and dialled. When someone picked up, I put on one of my tried and tested voices – Number 7, the Impatient Tycoon. “Hello? Amazi Spring Water? Look, I need to get hold of Jasper Ndlovu right away.” I rolled my r’s just enough to show that I had lived abroad. I grinned at Vusi. He looked dubious, as usual. “What do you mean he’s in a meeting? He was supposed to meet me an hour ago!”
“I’m so sorry, sir,” the secretary said, sounding flustered. “Let me check his schedule, maybe there was a mix-up.”
I gave her a minute to check. Vusi nudged me, and I held up one hand to silence him.
“I’m sorry, but he only had two meetings scheduled for today,” the secretary said after a moment. “The next one is for two p.m.”
“Where? I’ll try and catch him. He’d better have a good excuse.”
She hesitated. “I can’t give out that kind of information.”
“Are you joking?” I shouted. A few passers-by turned around to stare at me. “What kind of outfit are you people running? The man made an appointment with me, I cleared my schedule, and he didn’t bother to pitch up! He didn’t even have the decency to call to cancel! If this is the way you do business, I have to seriously reconsider my investment! In all my years working in this city, I’ve never –”
“The Protea Hotel,” she blurted out. “He’ll be at the Protea Hotel.”
Jackpot. “Pat yourself on the back, my dear,” I said in my haughtiest tone. “You might have just salvaged a very profitable partnership.”
I hung up and turned to Vusi just as a taxi screeched to a stop beside us.
“What was all that about?” he asked warily. “Where are we going?”
“We’re going to Sandton to check up on our buddy Jasper. We need to know everything we can about our competition.”
“You mean your competition.” He climbed into the taxi after me.
I shrugged. “Minor detail.”

“You know that this is crazy, right?” Vusi sank low in his seat in the hotel lobby. “Stalking people is against the law.”
“We’re not stalking him.” I peered over the edge of the chair, scanning the lobby. “We’re observing his movements.”
“He’s late anyway.” Vusi glanced at his phone, then popped up for a peek. “It’s already three minutes past two.”
At that moment I spotted Jasper. His tall frame and broad shoulders made him hard to miss. He entered the hotel with a short man in his late forties, an Alfred Ntombela type.
“Nope, he’s right on time,” I whispered. “Doesn’t that man look familiar?”
“Ja, he looks like the guy that’s going to get us thrown out of here when he realises we’re spying on him.”
“Don’t be so paranoid.” I waited until Jasper and his companion had their backs to us, then I leapt to my feet. “Come on!”
The older man walked briskly, like every minute of his time was worth a million rand, and Jasper hurried to keep up. They were deep in discussion, but I couldn’t hear what they were saying. I had to get closer.
Someone up there must have been on my side, because at that moment the older man suddenly yanked Jasper’s ear. Jasper yelped.
“You did what?” the man bellowed.
“You said to use whatever means necessary, Chairman,” Jasper countered, rubbing his ear. “And I had to act fast. It’ll work, I assure you. I hear he’s very experienced in –”
“How do you think I became one of Africa’s leading businessmen?” Chairman interjected.
Jasper hesitated. “By bribing your way to the top?”
“Yes! I mean no! By being ruthless.” The man took a menacing step towards Jasper, and even though Jasper was twice his size, I could tell that my old nemesis was scared. Chairman whispered something I couldn’t hear. It must have been a threat, because Jasper’s eyes widened and he nodded meekly.
What was going on? Was Chairman just another business partner, or was Jasper mixed up in some interesting extracurricular activities? They continued to speak in hushed tones. I strained to hear, and at one point I was almost certain I heard Jasper say Ayanda’s name. What did she have to do with anything? I inched closer.
“And you’d better stop bringing those other girls to your place,” said Chairman.
Jasper laughed. “But I’m a red-blooded man, Chairman. I have needs.”
Huh. I knew it. Jasper had been a player in school and it was no surprise that he hadn’t changed.
“I’m not saying stop, I’m saying find a new playground,” the older man replied. “If you screw this up because you can’t keep your trousers on...”
“Understood,” said Jasper nervously. “I’ll be careful.”
I had to find out what those two were plotting. But first I’d need more resources. I pulled out my phone, ducked behind a pot plant and called Jasper. His phone rang shrilly in the lobby and he stopped to answer it.
“Let me take this quickly,” he said.
Chairman just kept walking.
“Yes, why don’t you go ahead and I’ll meet you at our table?” Jasper called after him. “I’ll be right there.” Poor guy, trying so hard to pretend that he was in control, when it was obvious he was nothing more than a puppet on a string.
I looked at Vusi and held a finger up to my lips. Jasper’s voice came over the line.
“What do you want? I’m busy.”
I shook my head. “Is that any way to talk to your prophet?”
Jasper sighed. “Fine, I’m sorry. What can I do for you, Prophet?”
“This case is very complicated,” I told him. “We’re going to need more time. And money.”
“How much?”
I arched my eyebrows at Vusi. He shrugged. I fumbled for a number and picked the first one that popped into my head. “Twenty thousand rand.”
Jasper coughed and spluttered. “Are you out of your mind? Where am I supposed to get that kind of money?”
“Do you want your lover back or not?”
There was a brief silence. I stole a glance from behind the pot plant. Jasper was pacing the floor nervously. Good, let him sweat.
“Look, I’m very busy and it will take a while –”
“Maybe you can borrow from one of your other girlfriends,” I suggested.
Jasper froze. Jackpot. “How soon do you need it?”
“Transfer it into my account. I’ll SMS the details. I’ll resume working as soon as the money clears. By the way, when will you see Ayanda again? At the office?”
“No, I won’t be going back to the office today. But we’re having dinner with her father tomorrow night to celebrate his birthday.”
“Which restaurant?” I demanded.
Jasper hesitated. “You’re not going to show up there, are you?”
“Do you want my help or not?”
He sighed. “I’ll send you the address.”
I hung up and sneaked another peek at him. Chairman had entered the hotel restaurant, leaving Jasper standing alone in the lobby. I grinned at Vusi, then sent Jasper my banking details. A moment later he responded with directions to the restaurant.
“This is definitely the worst idea you’ve ever had,” said Vusi.
“You always say that.” I turned away from Jasper and moved towards the hotel entrance.
And just at that moment, Ayanda walked in. I was so shocked by her presence that I shoved Vusi to one side, flattening both of us against the wall so she wouldn’t see us.
“Mmhhmmngg!”said Vusi.
“Ssshhhh!”
I watched Ayanda walk across the floor, graceful like a gazelle in the savannah, or something. She was dressed in a black skirt that showed off her gorgeous figure, a grey shirt and high heels. She walked like a model, confident, beautiful...did I say beautiful already? She carried one of those huge fancy handbags that women like, the ones big enough to hold a small person. I wondered what I would find if I got my hands on that bag.
“Unnnnngphhh!” said Vusi.
I watched Ayanda until she vanished into the restaurant. What was she doing here? Was she also meeting Chairman? Somehow I doubted it. Wait a minute, had she followed Jasper as well? If she was suspicious of him – and who wouldn’t be? – then that made sense. She was a lawyer after all. She could probably tell when her useless boyfriend was keeping secrets. Or maybe she was just there to meet someone else.
Suddenly she emerged from the restaurant, walking very quickly. Her lips were pursed. She was definitely not happy. She hurried out of the hotel, obviously lost in her thoughts. I was now convinced that she had followed Jasper, and was unimpressed to see him with Chairman.
Once she was gone I turned to find out what Vusi was trying to tell me. That’s when I realised I had pinned him down with his face squashed against the wall.
“Eish, sorry bra.” I released him.
“You could have broken my jaw!” he snapped, touching his face gingerly.
“I’m not that strong. Vusi, I have a plan to find out more about Ayanda.” I led him out of the building.
He made a face, testing out his jaw. “I think my tooth is loose.”
“We’re going to steal her handbag.”
“Man, I really think you broke my – Eh?” He turned to stare at me. “Did you say steal?”
“Borrow.”
“Did you hit your head?”
I grinned. “It’s perfect. We get her bag and we can find out all kinds of things.”
“Ja, like what lipstick she likes. Senzo, we’re almost criminals already!”
I rolled my eyes. Sometimes I wished Vusi had a little more imagination. “We’re not going to take it. We’re going to get someone else to take it.”
“Who would be stupid enough to –” Then Vusi remembered. “Oh.”

Sipho was one of our best clients. He was what we called a “special case”, the kind of customer who could show up five times looking for a solution to the same old problem. He was a middle aged guy built like Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson, but had a high-pitched voice. Not high-pitched like a woman. High-pitched like Alvin and the Chipmunks. He came to me for help and after charging him the usual treatment fee, I explained that the ancestors had given him that voice as a gift, to build character or something. He bought it. Sipho was a die-hard believer in my prophetic powers, and would do almost anything for me. I mean, for Prophet Mazinga.
I sat on the mat in the consulting room in full costume, waiting for him.
“This guy is always late,” Vusi grumbled from behind the curtain.
“Sshh! I think I hear somebody.”
The door opened and Sipho came in. He looked excited to be there, as usual.
“Hello Prophet,” he said, taking a seat opposite me. “I’m happy you called. Did you find out who keeps pissing on my wall?”
I cleared my throat. “The ancestors say there is a man in your hood. There’s bad blood between you that goes way back...”
Sipho frowned. “That could be anybody.”
“His name is coming to me...” I started to wave my arms like I was having a fit. “Aaahh...Kkkkkk....Sssssss...”
“Sbu!” Sipho shouted. “I should have known.”
Bless the guy, he made my job so easy. “It was a difficult task to find this man,” I told him solemnly. “The ancestors want you to do something for them in return.”
“But I gave you fifty rand last time.”
I looked at him. “It’s an honour to be asked to serve the spirits in the great beyond, Sipho. If you refuse...”
That was Vusi’s cue. Soft wailing came from behind the curtain. “Woooooooooooooo!”
Sipho jumped. “Gahh!”
“Wooooooo...Sipho...”
“I’ll do it!” he shrieked. “Please, please, tell them I will do whatever they want.”
The wailing stopped. I nodded. “Wise choice, Sipho. Wise choice. Now, this is what you must do.” I took out my phone and showed him Ayanda’s photo. “You see this girl?”
“Mmm! Nice.”
“Hey, focus. You must go to the offices of Amazi Spring Water, where she works. I’ll give you directions. You must get her handbag and bring it here.”
Sipho shifted uncomfortably. “Ah, I don’t know. What if she calls the police?”
I gave him a look. “We both know you’ve done this many times. You’re a pro. You can do it without getting caught. Don’t worry, I’ll make sure she gets the bag back. This is a test to see if she is worthy. If you are worthy.”
Sipho’s eyes widened. “I am! I always do everything you ask.”
“Yes, you’re very loyal. And if you continue to serve them, the ancestors will reward you.”
He nodded slowly. “I will make sure you have the bag before the end of the day.”
I smiled. That was exactly what I had hoped to hear.

A few hours later Sipho sent one of his boys, a kid of about fifteen, with the bag. I knew he would pull it off. Although he was trying to be a law-abiding citizen, Sipho kept backsliding into his old ways. He had thousands of contacts all over the city who could make things happen quickly.
“You should stop bullying Sipho,” said Vusi, as I unpacked Ayanda’s bag. “He’s trying to be a decent guy and you keep getting him in trouble.”
“Trust me, he’s happy to help,” I assured him.
The bag contained the usual things – make-up, a pack of tissues, some mints, an address book, a big folder full of papers and a cellphone. I jumped on the phone, thrilled that we had found something so personal. From what I had seen on her social media I could tell that Ayanda was an open person, so I guessed her phone wouldn’t have a password. I was right. I looked through the contact list. There were only a few familiar names – her friends, Jasper and her father.
I decided to read some of her messages, just to get an idea of the kind of person she was. The most recent one was from Jasper, and she hadn’t replied. Heh heh! Good.
“Are you reading her messages?” hissed Vusi. “Sies!”
“There’s nothing secret here, relax.”
I flipped through her photos. Man, this woman took a lot of selfies. Selfies at the office, selfies at the gym, selfies at lunch with her BFFs. In all the pictures she looked happy. There was even one with Jasper at the beach. She looked amazing in her red bikini and Jasper looked like he just won the lottery. My insides twisted with jealousy. I quickly put the phone town and picked up the folder.
“You shouldn’t read that,” said Vusi nervously. “That’s private work stuff.”
“I’m not going to sell it on the black market, Vus. Chill. It’s boring, anyway.”
Vusi leaned forward to get a better look.
“Ah, now you’re interested?” I held the folder up so he couldn’t see. “It’s some kind of contract between Amazi Spring Water and Investor.”
“Which investor?”
I shrugged. “It just says investor. I guess they give the same contract to everybody and fill in the names afterwards.”
I put the folder back into the bag and picked up the phone again. This time I steered clear of the photos and went back to the messages. One thing I had learned in my years of researching scam victims – I mean clients – was that most people were sentimental. They kept all kinds of things in their bags, cars, drawers and phones, and they never deleted anything until their inboxes got full. Ayanda was the same.
I ignored the messages from people I didn’t know and searched for the ones from Jasper. Most of them were short and boring, because Jasper had no imagination. No soul. I miss u, call me. Hey beautiful. Pick u up at 7. A lot of them were apologies. I didnt mean it baby. Pls 4give me. Im sorry Aya. It was clear that he spent a lot of time screwing things up and trying to make up for it. Did u get the flowers? Do u like the dress? I got u the Swiss chocolates u <3. Do u like the earrings?
Ayanda’s responses were often brief and impatient. You can’t fix this with earrings. Thank you for the chocolates, goodnight. I said I need time. Please stop, I’ll call you when I’m ready.
I was about to leave the phone again when one conversation caught my interest.
I saw you with Marcus Sithole today.
So? He’s a family friend.
You didn’t talk about Amazi?
Ja, a bit. He still thinks a partnership would be great. So do I.
My father has made his wishes clear. Please don’t go behind his back.
I’m not, we were jst chatting. Relax.
I looked up at Vusi, who was busy studying Ayanda’s make-up for some strange reason. “Hey, where have I heard the name Marcus Sithole?”
“He’s the telecoms guy,” Vusi mumbled, opening a tube of lipstick.
Ah, yes. Now I remembered why Chairman, the man I had seen with Jasper, looked so familiar. He was Marcus Sithole. He really was one of the most successful businessmen in Africa, as he had told Jasper. Although everyone knew him as “the telecoms guy”, he had different business interests all over the continent as well as overseas. He was worth millions, and it looked like he was one of many who wanted a slice of Amazi. I had to be right then – Ayanda had followed Jasper because she suspected he was meeting with Sithole.
“He’s Chairman,” I told Vusi excitedly. “He’s the guy we saw with Jasper! Apparently they’re family friends.”
“I’m not surprised,” said Vusi. “I told you Jasper’s dad hangs out with bigshots these days. Hey, how much do you think this costs?” He held up Ayanda’s mascara.
I stared at him in confusion. “How would I know? Why are you looking at make-up anyway? Do you have a secret?”
He quickly put the make-up back into the bag. “Hayi, shut up. Zanele likes mascara. I was thinking maybe if this job works out I can buy her some nice high-class stuff.”
Oh God, that was most pathetic thing I had ever heard. The man was so whipped it wasn’t funny. I shook my head with a mixture of pity and disgust.
“Hey, don’t look at me like that!” he cried. “If you hook up with Ayanda you’ll have to start caring about stuff like clothes and lipstick. Women get upset if you don’t notice those things.”
“You mean when I hook up with Ayanda,” I corrected him. “Anyway, Chairman and Jasper are definitely more than family friends. You heard them talking at the hotel. They’re working together.”
“On what?”
“That’s the question, Vusi, that’s the question.”
The two of us packed the bag and zipped it up. I thought back to the conversation I had overheard between Chairman and Jasper. I knew one dirty secret already – Jasper was cheating on Ayanda and had no intention of stopping. But I also wanted to know what he and Chairman were up to. That was no ordinary business meeting, unless ear-pulling was some new corporate tactic. If Jasper was scheming behind Gideon’s back and I revealed the truth to Ayanda, I’d be a hero in her eyes. Just to be clear, I was doing this for Ayanda. But the hero thing certainly wouldn’t hurt.
Which brought me to the next phase of my plan. I had originally asked Sipho to return the bag, but now I realised that I had a golden opportunity in front of me. I got to my feet and picked up the bag.
“Where are you going?” asked Vusi.
“I need to borrow a nice shirt. That one Zanele got you for her sister’s wedding. And the shoes.”
His eyes narrowed. “Why?”
“I can’t rock up at Amazi in torn jeans and old takkies. Come on, Vus. I’ll look after them, I promise.”
He sighed and got up. “What are you up to this time?”
“I’m going to be Ayanda’s hero.”